I really did get a Christmas miracle this year, It was disguised as a disaster however. I knew it was a heaven sent miracle though, and I am grateful although it is was not a fun start.
Let me explain;
There is a reason that I have not been posting, you see I have decided to give it another go with my soul mate, the man I love, the one I know I would do anything for. The problem with this was that he was a trigger, and provider, but I knew that I would have to face this at some point if I wanted to have him in my life. I also knew that he was so strongly addicted to certain things that it would be nearly impossible for me to get him to change his ways. There would need to be a divine intervention, You see I knew that there was a great man hidden beneath the dark cloak of the addictions, I just didn’t know how to remove the cloak. God did though, and that is exactly what he did. I know it was God because the signs I have been receiving ever since are strong and incredible.
It was Christmas night and we were having drinks, and I won’t lie I indulged in a tiny bit of the other dark force, the one that I favored above all else. If you follow me then you will know what it is. We had a great night, I fought the usual demons that come along with the drug. The paranoia and dark thoughts, instead we had a lovely night and enjoyed each other very much. I woke up in the arms of the man that I love and I was happy, we lay there and when finally he went to get up he was stricken with a horrible stomach pain and could barely stand, then came the cold sweats and he started to lose color in his face. I was concerned, being a certified PSW and having taken all of the first aid courses, and learning about illness I know that his was not something to be taken lightly, I insisted that he go to the hospital to make sure that this was not serious. He finally begrudgingly agreed to go, and went to emergency. A few hours later I received word that he had something wrong with his pancreas. This is a common occurrence in alcoholics, it is something that can be deadly if not taken seriously. He was in the hospital for 4 days, wasn’t allowed to eat or drink for 3 of those days, the doctor informed him that this time he was lucky, but next time he might not be. He could never drink again.
This was the answer to my prayers, not the pain he was in but in what would come from that pain. Freedom. Freedom from addiction. We are now 10 days in to being sober and happy. He has his moments of craving that thing that he hadn’t gone a day without in 20 or more years. He fights it though. Marijuana helps him, I am a huge advocate for that. It helps many people overcome many things.
Here is to happiness, and I know that this time it is here to stay. 🙂
saltytearsandshinysmiles 